


you just took me by surprise

by kingthelarreh



Category: Pentatonix
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, avi needs to sleep more, featuring scomiche as the best/worst cupids ever, for drunken kissing, this is just fluff and avi being an embarrased clueless mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 11:16:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16217903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingthelarreh/pseuds/kingthelarreh
Summary: Three times Avi kisses Kevin accidentally, and one time it's not an accident at all.





	you just took me by surprise

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this for months. And this is actually like, the longest completed thing I've ever written, so I'm quite proud and happy with this :')
> 
> This fic is set during the On My Way Home Tour back in 2015, and I wasn't around at that time, so please if anything doesn't match with the real life events ignore it on favor of the plot.
> 
> Title is from "Seeing Blind" by Niall Horan. English is not my first language so kindly correct me if necessary :)

The first time it happens, it catches Avi off guard. Like,  _ really  _ off guard.

They're all busy with their renewed tour life, and the writing is making it more stressful than it already is. Avi, in particular, is doing terrible. He has to change positions in the tour interviews at least five times so the light hides decently the brownish patches under his eyes. He barely can keep his eyes open in the writing sessions, and after the energy shock that is every concert he goes straight to bed, even if he knows he has to get up in thirty minutes to record demos for all the songs.

This tour is draining his energy quickly, and while he can still manage to show his usual dancey self on stage and in front of the fans, he can't pretend he's fine off camera. Therefore, it’s just a matter of time until everyone else starts to notice it too. And everyone is exhausted too, Avi knows, but it feels like he's about to die from it, like if he sleeps for more than eight hours he'll never stop.

All of them react differently, do lots of things to show that they care. Esther doesn't talk to him as much as before and re-schedules his recording sessions so he can have decent amounts of sleep (God bless her). Kirstie gives him worried looks almost all the time from across the stage and always brings him water bottles to keep him hydrated. Mitch takes him out sometimes to eat in restaurants and such, which helps him to remember where he is, and makes sure nobody parties on the bus after midnight. Scott seconds Kirstie with the mom looks and lets Avi cuddle him in the backseat when they're not on the bus.

And Kevin, of course, teases him. A lot.

If Avi thinks about it, it's like every reaction is a demonstration of the nature of each of their friendships. While Kirstie’s incapability of sitting down with him and address the issue shows how messy their relationship is at this point, Mitch and Scott’s care reflect their personalities and it’s a really good balance to jump back and forth between Mitch’s more quiet and introvert nature and Scott’s loudness. And Kevin is, well, a lot of teasing. Lots of fighting in the ground, rough hugs, bright laughs. It all gets bigger, and he's so tired that sometimes he can't answer: he can't shove Kevin back, he can't give him a sassy remark, he can't keep up with him. And it's frustrating, mostly because Avi is not used to lose against him and he really doesn't like Kevin's winning face. It's incredibly annoying.

“Back at it again with the endless sleeping”, Kevin says that day. Avi opens his eyes and snaps his head up so he can look at the big man entering the small trailer, with an amused smirk on his lips.

“Leave me alooooone”, Avi cries immediately. And yes, he may be admitting his defeat, but he was having a nice dream. Like, real nice. With fireflies and enchanted forests and elves.  _ Pretty  _ elves. Well, all elves are beautiful, but still. He hasn't dreamed about elves in an eternity.

“Leave  _ you  _ alone? That's what I did, and look at you. You can barely keep yourself awake, dude.”

“I was… working. In my sleep.” He was disorientated enough for that sentence to make perfect sense in his head.

Kevin laughs, and the sound rings in Avi's ears and it hurts, a little.

“Man, you're a worse liar when you just wake up. Get your ass outta here.”

Avi doesn't stand up. He… he's stubborn, and suddenly the nice dream is forgotten and he can't lose. He was writing a song… they were… about…

“Just… give me some time, okay? I need to remember some things. But I'll help you. I swear.”

“Avi, seriously”, Kevin makes a face at him that is a weird mix between Scott's and Kirstie’s. It’s the strangest thing ever. “Go catch some sleep. You're about to pass out.”

“Not true. No. Give me a minute, I'll be okay.” Avi meets Kevin's worried eyes and rolls his, and he stands up, almost tripping on his feet. “Hey, I can do this, you know.”

“Ohhhhhhh, yeah.” Kevin takes a step back and holds his hands up, and he's talking a lot louder and Avi's ears ring again.

“Shaddup.”

“Avi, the man that can. The can man. Behold everyone, here's the can man!”

“That… doesn't even make sense…”

“The can man, he can do anything. Well, can man,” (he really needs to stop saying this so loud, it's stupid as heck), “what you gonna do about this? Huh?”, Kevin steps on his personal space and pushes Avi's chest with his own, then lowers his face at him, “whatcha gonna do?”.

Avi doesn't say anything. He's tired and powerless and he has Kevin’s face in front of his and the freaking  _ instincts,  _ and animals have instincts and follow them and well, Avi loves animals, doesn't he?

So Avi  _ does _ something, and leans forward to press his lips to Kevin's.

And, for a moment, it seems completely normal. Avi, during a second, analyses it: it's a quick and assertive answer to Kevin’s question, and he's doing something about it, and he's following his instincts like the animal he is. But the second leaves as quickly as it arrives, and Avi remembers humans don't follow their instincts very often, and that Kevin was  _ joking,  _ and -God help him- he just  _ kissed  _ his friend on the goddamn mouth.

Kevin looks… Well, Avi has seen his horrified face lots of times, and this doesn't look a lot like it, thank God. It's not exactly a face of happiness either. He looks like he couldn't be more confused if he tried, and he keeps staring at Avi with this strange expression - which is, you know, understandable given what just happened, but Avi has also surprised himself and he kind of wishes that Kevin would stop looking at him.

“Well, that's what I am gonna do”, he manages to babble after five seconds of pure awkward silence.

It is enough, because Kevin breaks out laughing so hard he ends up on his knees, and Avi's head is hurting a lot from it. If he thinks about it, going to bed seems like a super great idea right now.

“I'm gonna. Um. Sleep. Yes. Goodbye”, he says to the man crying on the floor, wishing already that he'd forget about this, and hurriedly walks past him to hide on his bunk for a good few hours.  
  


 

Things after the kiss had gone pretty swift, actually. Kevin made sure everyone on the band and crew knew what happened that day, and Avi got all the corresponding jokes from everyone. And by everyone we mean… everyone. Even the guy who was in charge of the lights and Avi had seen maybe twice and never talked to him gave him funny looks when he walked past him.

Scott and Mitch were having the most fun out of it, of course. Mitch made extra kissy faces at him (Avi was starting to think he was actually hoping for the make-out session to happen) and Scott would reenact the scene with whoever was next to him in a very exaggerated way that made it seem like a low budget porno (and it made him both uncomfortable and super amused). He just laughed at all of it and remained collected until, very slowly, the jokes started to fade and everyone seemed to forgot that the kiss had happened.

Everyone but Avi.

His relationship with Kevin hadn't changed at all: same teasing, same rough shoving and deep conversations and all, but it was a little strange. After all, Avi had had his mouth on Kevin's: that was clearly another level, even if he couldn't remember most of it and it wasn't a  _ real _ kiss. His mind clinged to the memory, and it was embarrassing and made his ears go hot in a matter of seconds. At least, he was thankful that nobody else tortured him anymore with it. Apparently, this was some kind of self punishment for his stupidity.

His stupidity, who wouldn't leave him alone even two months after the incident.

After the first leg of the tour ended, everyone was emotional and excited, since the break meant almost two weeks of 1) getting healthier amounts of sleep, 2) eating at decent hours and 3) get to see the family. Well, there was a number four that included partying and similar things neither Avi or Kevin were interested in. The third one, though, seemed amazing.

So after one day of uninterrupted sleep, Kevin and Avi are ready to leave the city to visit their respective families.

“Isn't Esther coming with you?”, Kevin asks as they both jog upstairs inside the airport. Avi isn't in his best shape, but they were running late, so.

“Nah. She's got, uh, work to do. Or something.”

“Tour manager stuff?”

“Probably.”

Kevin's flight departs one hour earlier than Avi's, but he still insisted on getting up at the same time as his roommate. “So I'll make sure I won't be late”, Avi had said. It was a valid reason, but he still kinda misses that hour of sleep. Or half an hour, given that they had arrived just a little late.

As soon as they queue for the first check-in, Kevin drops his luggage and slings an arm around Avi's shoulders.

“You are clingy today, aren't you?”, Avi jokes.

“I'm saying goodbye. I'm already late so having you next to me makes no sense. Plus, I don't like to see you working out so early.”

“You're a menace”, Avi says. He had thought he would be giving Kevin the bro-fist, but a hug doesn't seem so bad. So he drops his luggage, too, and wraps his arms around his friend.

“By the way, give Esther a big kiss for me. Gonna miss her, too.”

“That depends of where the kiss is going to be.”

“Don't get gross!”, Kevin chuckles. They've been hugging for more than five seconds now, people are starting to notice and stare at them. Avi feels a little anxious, so he tries to take big and slower breaths.

“Give your parents kisses, too. And hugs.”

“As big as these?”, Kevin tightens his arms around Avi for demonstration. Avi rolls his eyes.

“Yeah. But not as long. They'd think is weird.”

“I think this is weird.”

“Yeah. It is.”

Finally, Avi has a reason to let go. But he's still thinking about kissing Esther on the cheek just as Kevin does and he has some kind of spasm in which he kind of  _ practices  _ it and Kevin looks at him, and. Well.

He lands his lips on Kevin's mouth again.

It's as brief as the last time, but this time they're on a  _ public  _ place  — what if there are  _ fans,  _ oh God —  and he steps away so quickly he almost tumbles with his own bag.

Kevin lets out a little scream  — such a smooth guy — , his eyes asking things Avi doesn't know how to answer.

“Well, that's weird, too”, Avi says too loud, and he earns even more looks, and well. This is a disaster.

“Sure it is”, Kevin says, and goddamn  _ laughs,  _ like this isn't the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to Avi. He needs reassurance. A pat in the back. A hole in the ground in which he could hide forever.

“Oh my  _ God”,  _ he says when Kevin won't stop giggling.

“If that's a demonstration of the kisses you wanna give to my parents, well, we'll have to talk.”

“Shut  _ up.” _

“Your own fault, dude”, and he laughs again and presses a fast smiling kiss on Avi's red, red cheek before following the queue and getting his luggage on the platform. Avi can't move.

“Um, sorry, sir. Are you on the line?”, Avi hears behind him. When he turns around he sees a grown ass lady barely hiding her smile at him. And NO.

“I am not. I'm sorry!”, and he manages to leave as fast as he can't without running.  
  


 

Avi really wishes he was less stupid. He was sleep deprived on both times, yes, but both situations didn't call for a… kiss at all.

So, he can't stop thinking about it. He thinks about that when he queues up for the flight arrival, he thinks about that during the flight, he thinks about it when he lands home, on the ride home in the taxi. 

Even at his parent’s house, he almost slips up and tells Esther.  _ Almost.  _ He’s glad he doesn’t have to explain himself to anyone, given that no one recorded the situation in question - though Avi only felt completely relieved once he compulsively checked Twitter and Instagram several times that week. Good thing people didn’t care about him as much as with Scott and Mitch.

He doesn’t have to explain himself to Kevin… he hopes. He took it as a funny situation both times. Because is what it  _ was,  _ and Avi shouldn’t be surprised Kevin is able to recognize an embarrassing situation when it happens and take it as such.

Kevin talks about it a week after, out of nowhere. “I don’t mind if you wanna start like, giving me bro smooches”, and Avi actually laughs at that, even though he turns red. “But you gotta stop making such a big deal about it!” And then he finishes the conversation with a casual arm on his shoulders as they walk through the corridor to the stage.

And he's right. But the thing is, he  _ can’t  _ stop thinking about it. Whenever Kevin is giving his opinion on the production of a track, singing in the booth while Avi waits for his turn, even talking to Avi about something that he thought during the day, Avi’s eyes slip down and look at his lips, and he feels embarrassed and hot all over. It’s stupid, he knows, and can only hope the end of tour gives him a rest to his confused, tired brain.

  
  


The next three weeks are a fast forward of performing and meeting fans and getting on airplanes and sleeping on the tour bus and then his birthday comes and the band sets him a little party and then some more shows and finally, the Europe leg is almost over and Avi is so hyped for three weeks more of a normal pace of life before going to Asia.

Two shows before they go back to the US, the band and crew decide to throw a little bus party to lift the spirits before they leave the continent. This time, Avi doesn’t mind it. In fact, he’s very keen on attending the party himself. He deserves it, and he’s in the mood for that. That doesn’t stop him from getting surprised looks from the crew once he shows up.

“Daddy!”, Mitch says, his eyes big, and he hops off the couch to prepare him a drink  — and Avi would usually say no, but now he just smiles and waits as Mitch pours liquid on the plastic vase for him.

“Does it taste good?”, Avi asks, staring at Mitch’s pinky finger popping out as he hands him the cup.

“It’s my favorite”, Mitch says over the music, and gives him a bright smile. Avi feels honored as he picks up the cup and takes a sip. It’s very sweet, he finds out. It’s mostly alright.

He takes another sip awkwardly before sitting next to Scott in the couch. He’s never sure of what to do here, and generally doesn’t really understand the fun about the party life. He’s totally up for a dance party at some point, though.

Kevin makes his entrance five minutes later, wearing a black t-shirt and a smile. Avi’s heart skips a beat. The room is suddenly five times more interesting.

Scott and Kirstie interrupt their selfie session to yell Kevin’s name, and Mitch stands up and starts vogueing. Kevin joins him with his own version of dad dancing, and then one by one everyone is up and dancing, Avi included. He finishes his drink and asks for more, and Scott fills his cup again and this time the mix is a bit less sweet and a lot more drinkable, and he’s bumping against everyone and belting out the lyrics he knows and mostly just blindly moving around the room. He sees Kirstie and Mitch pose for party snaps, Scott attempting to twerk and succeeding on making everyone laugh, Kevin giving a piggyback ride to a clumsy Esther.

He feels dazed and weird. He wants to think he’s genuinely having fun, but he feels exhausted and wants to wrap himself in blankets and fall asleep on a expensive king size bed and stay like that for an entire day. He’s increasingly feeling more and more uncomfortable and he doesn’t really know what’s happening right now, whose hand is holding his shoulder steady, whose voice is singing along Beyoncé behind him, or in front of him, he doesn’t know anymore.

Avi falls on someone's lap. He looks for something to hold on, and he founds a strong shoulder, and warm dark skin, and then a blinding smile, and he's glad it's Kevin, because Kevin is kinda like him and he feels lost in this sea of alcohol and loud, loud music, and he needs to hold on to something, or someone that makes him feel grounded.

“Hiiiiii, I'm drunk”, he slurs very slowly and then he burps. Kevin laughs at him, and Avi lets go of Kevin's shoulder just to find out there's an arm behind him, holding him firmly. Kevin is strong, he remembers. Avi wants to ask him to take him on his arms and leave him in his bunk. He's tired, too tired.

But before he can say anything Kevin leans over his face with the smile of someone who's about to do something mischievous. Avi freezes for a second, and then Kevin whispers, “Hi drunk, I'm Kevin”.

It shouldn't be so funny, but soon enough Avi is laughing so hard he almost falls off Kevin, and when he calms down he puts his hand on Kevin's shoulder again.

“C’mere, I wanna tell you a secret”, Avi says, giggling. His voice is a lot higher and he sounds like an embarrassing school girl, but Kevin is giggling too and he sounds as ridiculous as him, so it's okay. Soon, Avi realizes Kevin can't  _ come  _ closer, since he's under him, so Avi struggles to get on his knees. That returns the woozy feeling on his head and limbs, it feels like he's flying, and he's thankful that Kevin's hands come to hold his waist for a second.

“I wanna tell you a secret”, he says again, and laughs again, remembering Kevin's joke. He wants to do something like that, too. But then he's straddling Kevin's thighs and he's got his mouth next to his ear, and he puts his hands on the covered windows behind him cause touching him is  _ too much _ for now, and he can't come up with anything funny to tell him. So he decides to tell him an actual secret.

“When I was in sophomore year, I kissed a boy”, he murmurs.

Kevin, who probably is expecting the joke, puts his head back to look at Avi, and he isn’t smiling anymore.

“Really?”

“I haven't finished”, Avi tells him, because he doesn’t want to be looked at when telling a thing like this. He puts his mouth next to Kevin's neck again.

“I can't remember his name. Something like Joel, or Jason. Whatever. He was on choir, told me he was a tenor, that he wanted to have a voice like mine. I told him the same. I didn't really mean it, though.”. He remembers the boy's aspect, a little. He was… attractive, he guesses. Looked like every other fifteen year old at high school.

“We went to the movies with a bunch of classmates. Some action flick. He kissed me there, in the darkness, like we were some sort of boyfriends, I don’t know. I told him I wasn't like that…”.

Kevin is tense under him, everything about him, and Avi wants to shut up already, but he  _ needs  _ to tell him this, he doesn't know why. And he should shut up, because he's drunk. Maybe Kevin could still take him to bed if he stops. But he doesn't.

“Like what? Gay?”, Kevin whispers back. There’s one second of silence, and Avi thinks his answer, then smiles.

“No. Into tenors.”

He giggles as soon as he finishes the sentence, proud of holding the laugh just in time, and thank God it works and Kevin is no longer faking the smile and he snorts so loud Avi’s head throbs again.

“Mitch is gonna be appalled”, Kevin smirks when he recovers. Avi shrugs. His head hurts, so he puts it on Kevin’s shoulder, and immediately feels two warm hands on his thighs, just above his knees. He wonders if he’s crushing Kevin. Hopefully not, because this is a very comfortable position.

“I don’t think he likes lots of beard on guys, though. He’s gonna be fine.”

“Good thing I’m a baritone, ain’t it?”

Avi raises his head just to find Kevin’s side smile. He’s joking. Well, it may be flirting, but it’s a joke, no? So it’s okay. Kevin presses his thumbs on Avi’s skin through his pants and Avi remembers they are having a conversation.

“Are you?”, he asks, looking at him through his lashes. Two can play the game, right?

“Heck yeah. You think I’m just faking it to get your attention? Not like I have to beg for it, with you putting your mouth on me whenever you get a chance.”

Avi gasps, and maybe he gets a little offended. “That wasn’t on purpose! Any of them!”.

“Wow, never heard that one before”, teases Kevin, rubbing his fingers on Avi’s legs. It feels very good.

“Ok, I admit it, I was tooootally trying to seduce you. Good thing you know now”.

“Good thing”, Kevin agrees, softer.

The silence that follows is Avi’s cue to put his head on Kevin’s shoulder again. He smells like home. Not exactly like Esther, but a different kind of home. The one that he has built on this tour bus and rehearsals and vocal warming ups. Just as great as the home that he is very far from right now.

“Were you joking?”, Kevin asks, interrupting his thoughts. His breath tickles Avi’s ear, so he turns, and Kevin must have gotten closer, because right now he can almost touch their lips together.

“What?”, Avi says. He can’t remember what they were talking about. In fact, he can’t think of anything except for the fact that his mouth brushes Kevin’s lips as he speaks.

“The story that you told me, the secret”, this feels so intimate that his heart starts racing on his chest, “was it true?”.

He can’t meet Kevin’s eyes, but he knows he’s staring at him. There’s nothing else in the world than them, the hands on his knees, his hands on the shoulders, the breath that suddenly smells like vodka and whatever else was on the glasses he drunk, and their lips.

“Of course”, says, and leans forward half an inch and they’re kissing, properly making out, with Avi wrapping his arms on Kevin's neck and Kevin digging his fingers on Avi's thighs, moaning softly against his lips, against his tongue.

It's… so sudden, and it feels like a dream but Avi knows it's true, because this is too good to be a fantasy. Kevin is a very good kisser, but even then he goes further than that, and the way he sucks on Avi's upper lip and licks into his mouth is so surreal that he feels it all: shivers on his spine, butterflies on his tummy, the throbbing pulse of his dick against the front of his tight jeans. It isn't even too good to be true, that's the thing. It's too good it  _ has _ to be real.

Does anyone else around them exist anymore? Avi's not sure. He tries to focus on something else, but he only feels the music on the air - some shitty remix of a pop song whose loud bass is making his head spin, and that's that. Everything else is cancelled, drowned by Kevin's hot mouth and the passion and the trail his hands make when he goes from his legs to his waist and his legs again.

Why does he keep denying it, then?, Avi thinks, and his tongue meets Kevin's and he feels so pleased he physically trembles. Why, if this is so nice? Having Kevin under him and connecting their lips together, wrapping his arms on his neck while being held by him. God, it's the best he has felt in so long. It's… everything about Kevin. His humor and intelligence and shitty dad jokes and his empathy and love for everything, for everyone.

It hits Avi. The  _ feeling,  _ was it always there? He pants and breaks the contact and Kevin's holy mouth finds his cheek, his neck. He's always giving so much, too much, doing everything so amazingly and later claiming he's not as good as the others… Has it always been this way?, Avi thinks again, and over the twing of his heart he thinks he says it, he says the  _ words _ . And Kevin stops and looks at him and his smile is like staring at the sun.

“Me too”, he whispers, so full of happiness that Avi has no other choice to smile back.

_ He does too!,  _ he thinks? He says? Doesn't matter now, not when they get back to what they were doing and everything is somehow better now, but even then, on cloud nine, Avi doesn't feel surprised. It's Kevin, after all. Of course it's gonna be the best.

 

 

When Avi wakes up next morning, he's snuggled up against a warm, big body. When he looks at Kevin snoring obnoxiously, the memories of last night come all in a rush: getting drunk, telling Kevin about the guy who kissed him,  _ kissing  _ Kevin. They're still in the same place that they were last night, and the couch is a lot less comfortable than it was back then, but Avi doesn't want to move. He can already sense how terrible his headache is, and getting out of his position won't be the best for him.

Yet, staying isn't the best idea neither. Kevin is very freaking loud and he knows he needs to drinks a glass of water and maybe some Tylenol, so he sighs, and he moves just a little, enough so he feels like his brain is about to explode inside his skull.

After whining quietly at every little move he does and realizing nothing's gonna make it better, he just stands up. Kevin's snores are as hardcore as before, so Avi doesn't have to worry about waking him up. Which he very much appreciates, given what happened between them last night. God, he's already blushing hard. The headache is not helping him either.

He walks the eight obligatory steps to get to the front of the bus, and every single one of them is excruciating. Nobody's on the bunks, and judging for the sky through the open windows it's almost midday. He braces himself against one of the bunks as he watches Scott and Mitch, fully dressed and checking their phones with one hand while holding a cup of coffee on the other.

“Hey there, straight guy”, Mitch greets him without even looking away from his phone, which is already a bad start.

“Had a good sleep?”, Scott offers less aggressively. He hands Avi a glass full of water and something that is probably Tylenol. Avi sighs happily, and a sudden rush of love towards Scott crosses his chest.

“No. That's the worst I've slept in all tour”, he answers, and that's saying a lot. He tries to break the package with his dumb fingers. “Where are we?”

“Um”, Scott's brows frown. “Somewhere in… Europe?”

“Wow. You guessed it”, Mitch says sarcastically, and Scott giggles.

“I'm not sure! I think we're still in Leeds. There's a coffee shop around here, that's all I know. All the others went there.”

“Why are you here, though?”, Avi says. The pill finally comes out of the package.

“Someone had to stay in the bus while you two were sleeping”, Mitch explains. Avi refuses to blush; it's definitely too early for this.

“And… we wanted to talk to you about something”, adds Scott, hesitant.

There's a pause, and it's like the air gets physically thicker. Avi gulps the first pill slowly before things can get messier.

“Talk to  _ me? _ Why?”. Playing dumb isn't his forte, even though  _ being  _ dumb is.

“You don’t know what happened yesterday?”, Mitch says. He probably doesn’t mean to, but his tone is a little reproaching, and Avi doesn’t look at him because he isn’t ready for that.

“I... don’t remember everything”, is what he says, because it’s close to the truth and he feels like whoever talks about  _ it _ first will lose. And clearly he’s on disadvantage, he can’t keep losing.

“Do you remember the part on which you climbed on top of Kevin to snog the fuck out of him?”, well, apparently Mitch has no mercy. He turns just in time to see Scott kicking Mitch in the ankle while trying not to laugh.

“ _ Snog,  _ how British of you”, Scott jokes while putting his own made-up british accent. Mitch rolls his eyes at him before looking at Avi again, expectant.

It’s a way too direct question to even try to avoid it.

“...yeah”, Avi whispers while he tries to get the second pill out of the plastic wrapping.

“You two were  _ getting _ it last night”, Scott smirks while holding his now free hand up, and Mitch nods earnestly. It eases the tension a little, but still Avi gets a little terrified. The fact that this is  _ amusing _ them is enough to let him know this is not good at all.

“It was real cute, though”, Mitch looks down at his cup so he doesn’t have to see how Avi becomes as red as humanly possible. “I think I came a couple times.”

Avi chokes on air.

Scott’s laugh is there to make company to Mitch’s sly smile. “You can’t say that!”

“Well I just did, huh? But do you know who didn’t thought it was cute? Take a guess.”

“A guess?”, Avi murmurs. He’s not sure he wants to know.

Turns out Mitch's suggestion was only rhetorical.

“Your cute little sister? Well, more like elder. Didn’t agree with us, no-uh, not at all”, Mitch’s eyes find his and Avi feels like he’s been hit by a bucket of cold water.

Esther was there. Of  _ course _ she was there. Shit, shit, shit, shit.

“What… what did she say?”, he struggles to talk because boy, he’s not ready for it, whatever it is.

“She didn’t say to much, Did she, Scotty?”, Mitch passes the ball to his sidekick. He’s enjoying this a little too much.

“Nah. Mostly, what she did is walk out as soon as you started grinding against each other.”

_ AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH, _ is what Avi hears inside his head, which very accurately sums up his feelings.

“We did  _ what?”, _ he says when he recovers a little. Scott tries to remain serious but ends up giving him a smile.

“No, no, you didn’t. Or if you did, I didn’t see it. I’m lying. I’m sorry, you’re just… your  _ reaction. _ Priceless. But yeah, she did leave the bus at some point.”

“We actually discussed it, in that moment”, Mitch straightens up and waves his finger between Scott and himself. “If we should leave you two alone. Because you were there like you were the only two people on the bus, and it was a little…”

“Awkward?”, Scott supplies, the good friend.

“Yes. Awkward. Like watching your parents make out. Actually, it was exactly like that. We were afraid we were gonna be seeing more skin very soon. But then you slowed down, and it was fine. You were drunk as fuck, a lot more than Kevin. I wouldn’t have minded if we had to party outside, really. It wasn’t that chilly.”

Avi is equally relieved and disappointed that him and Kevin didn’t do more than kiss a little. Or, well, kiss a lot. Seems like a little because everything is fogged to him. And why does he want to  _ remember _ it? Jeez.

“What would have happened if you two went to second base?”, Scott wanders out loud, scratching his chin. The question is not for Avi to answer. “That couch is already dirty as hell. We would’ve had to burn it.”

“I would have stayed.”, Mitch adds.

“Yeah? Hope for the threesome to happen?”

“You bet. I wouldn’t mind, actually. Kevin can manhandle me any day of the week.”

Scott laughs. Avi knows they're purposely messing around at his expense, but he still wants to slap both of them.

“I’m still here”, he says, like he has some dignity left.

“Yeah, which reminds me of”, Mitch sets his cup on the table, stands up properly to face Avi. “You two have to talk.”

It’s literally the only conclusion here, yet Avi’s heart still skips a beat.

“Right now?”

“Is he sleeping?”

Avi doesn’t want to check. He can’t look at him, won’t ever do it again. “I think he is.”

“Then not  _ right _ now. But as soon as he wakes up and drinks some water, you two will have to talk.”

Avi knows. He knows, was thinking about that when he was kissing him, when he first straddled him, and even before, when the second accidental kiss happened and everything started to get weirder. But he  _ can’t. _

This is bigger than them, that their friendship. It’s Avi’s life too: his sexuality. He loves the diversity and will support the LGBT community with all his heart, but being an ally is way more easier than being actually… gay? Bisexual? He hadn’t thought about the thing that happened with the choir kid in so long, but now everything was different, and he was considering certain events on his life again. Like if he had actually liked when that boy kissed him, or if his college friend that he thought he was handsome had been more than an objective thing of admiring someone’s appearance, or if there had been times in which he had hidden his actual feelings under light hearted jokes. He’s discovering himself again, but maybe he’ll need to be sure first, before he sorts out all of this with Kevin.

“I… can’t”, he says, helpless.

Suddenly, Mitch’s poker face has lost all the sarcasm. He fixes his hair - a second in which Avi can breathe a little - and looks at him straight in the eye.

“Avi. You have to do it now. You know how this is.”

“I… don’t actually know. I’ve never hooked up with anyone in the band until now”, Avi punctuates.

“And we’ve had?”, Mitch asks, but he doesn’t look offended. Curious, if anything,

“Didn’t you and Scott kissed like, two weeks ago?”

“It was a dare”, Mitch says, a little too defensive if you ask Avi.

“Yeah, we were playing. And it didn’t have as much tongue as your little kiss with Kevin”, Scott adds.

“Plus, Scott’s boyfriend was there. It was fun.”

“Alex and I literally kissed five minutes after that.”

“And probably had sex.”

“Probably.”

“Not here, I hope. We all know the rules: no sex in the tour bus.”

“Easy to follow. Neither of us can fit like that in any of the bunks.”

“What I’m trying to say here is”, Mitch sighs, “is not like a dare kiss is going to define our relationship, nor an accidental kiss.”

“Or two or three”. Sometimes, Avi hates Scott.

“Or two or three”, Mitch agrees. “But yesterday it was different. And it’s not just your friendship, which, I understand, it will be hard to fix whatever needs to be fixed. But the choice that you guys make will not only affect you two but everyone here.”

“We all have made sacrifices”, Scott says. “You barely see your family at all, Kevin left medical school, we all have left behind a lot. So… you're gonna have to look after that, too.”

Avi's face must be as terrified as he feels because Mitch's brows stop frowning and he gives him a little smile.

“You know, we know you're gonna do the right thing. Just… keep that in mind, yeah? That your relationship with Kevin will affect everyone. And it better be in a good way.”

Avi twitches his lips. “I know it was my fault, but, like… This is a lot of pressure. I should have known what was I getting into.”

“Come here”, is Scott's answer. When Avi doesn't move, he tugs his arm and then Avi's face lies on Scott's collarbone, while Mitch comes from the other side to softly caress his arm and put his head on Avi's shoulder.

“It wasn't anyone's fault. Sometimes these things… happen”, Scott says as he tightens his arms around Avi’s waist.

“Can't relate”, Avi hears from his other side.

“If you're not going to be helpful then better shut up, Stephanie.”

“Rude”, Mitch says and rubs his face against Avi's shoulder. “We trust you, you know? All of this is gonna work out. Just make sure you don't break anyone's heart.”

“Including yours”, Scott points out.

“Yeah. You're a clever guy, aren't you? You're gonna do fine. Maybe even better than fine.”

“Thanks, guys”, Avi says, and he may be about to tear up but damn, didn't he need these cuddles.

“You're welcome, daddy.”

They stay like this for a long time, and Avi is watching how Mitch browses through some hot guy's instagram page when he hears the unmistakable sound of Kevin getting up.

Immediately, both guys turn to Avi.

“Are you ready?”, Scott asks while rubbing his bicep.

Avi is about to ask if he looks good, but stops himself just in time, and he blushes furiously. This is doing bad things to him.

“It's like I'm in highschool again”, he whines.

“Well, you definitely behaved like a teenage girl in her first party ever yesterday, so”, and wow, Mitch is merciless today.

“I thought you guys wanted to be helpful?”

“Right, right. Sorry. You're great, go now.”

“Now?”

“Yes!”, both of them say and  _ physically _ push him until he's five feet away from them  — and five feet closer to Kevin.

Two seconds later, Kevin appears in the hallway, yawning and stretching and rubbing his eyes and Avi's heart feels like it's gonna explode from how fast it's beating.

Avi feels two taps on his shoulder, and he turns around to see Scott handing him a glass of water and Mitch putting more Tylenol on his hand. Then, both of them smile  — he knows they're supposed to be reassuring smiles, but he feels even more terrified  — and give him a thumbs up.

When Kevin  _ actually  _ sees Avi, they don't have time for the awkward silence to happen, because Avi has something to say. He's gotta thank the guys after this. Maybe.

“Tylenol?”, he offers. Kevin doesn't look so impressed, and when he takes the stuff out of Avi's hands their fingers brush a little bit.

Avi waits anxiously until Kevin takes the goddamn pills. Behind them, Scott and Mitch are unsuccessfully trying to cover their giggles, and Avi almost rolls his eyes at them.

“So”, Scott says out loud, and Kevin and Avi turn around to look at him, “Mitchy and I just ran out of coffee. So see ya later, boys.”

“Take care of the bus”, Mitch adds while patting the fridge a couple times. They turn around and don't even wait to be a good few feet away from the bus before they start laughing again.

_ Oh,  _ Avi thinks, feeling empty and a hundred percent less brave. He'd figured he had to talk to Kevin in private, but he thought that at least Mitch and Scott could be  _ in  _ the bus, ready to break in if things went wrong. Damn, this is really going to be just him against the world. Well, against Kevin. No, not against Kevin. Hopefully  _ with  _ Kevin? Jeez.

“So that was a trap?”, Kevin asks, his voice a little rough. Avi forces himself to turn his body towards him.

“Kind of”. He inhales deeply. “We need to talk.”

“Oh”, Kevin says. Good to know he shows the same excitement as Avi in facing his problems.

They awkwardly move into the bunks area - the couch would be a lot more comfortable but the very thought of sitting there again with him makes Avi blush deeply. So he leans against Mitch's empty bunk and hopes his gay spirit can guide him through this.

Kevin still looks sleepy, and Avi isn't sure if he's still confused or of he's just scared. If he's honest, knowing that he's on a better position  — fully awake, knowing what he has to say, having the explicit support of Scott and Mitch, and his headache is a lot less bad  — makes him feel braver.

“Do I”, he stops become his voice sounds strange and his face is burning, so he takes a big breath. “Do I need to remind you of what happened last night?”

Kevin flicks the package on his fingers, and the sound is strangely muffed here. It makes everything seem more intimate.

“No. I remember.”

“Great”, Avi says, torn between being glad that he doesn't have to mention it, and being nervous that Kevin knows everything, maybe even remembers a little more, since he was almost sober when it all had happened. He takes another breath. “I, uh… I kissed you. For real this time.”

He doesn't know how to make his way through this to the final point, so he's almost thankful when Kevin raises an eyebrow at him and speaks.

“I thought you would be too drunk to remember it.”

“I… wasn't that drunk”, a little smile appears on his lips.  _ Thank God. _ He had the feeling that if he had been more drunk a lot more things would've happened that night. And giving a whole show to the people he toured with every day for months wasn't good for his reputation at all.

“So”, Kevin starts. His voice is small and Avi feels his heart weighs ten pounds more. “Did you mean it?”

This is it. The choice. Tell him yes now, tell him yes later, tell him no, tell  _ himself  _ no… He was still clueless about what was the right thing. But damn, he had to take responsibility with this, and might as well the consequences be good things too.

“Yes. I meant it.”

He feels brave enough to stare at Kevin for two seconds more and he catches the way he presses his lips in a tiny smile and looks at the floor. And… does he  _ really  _ feel the same? Kevin's shyness is a sudden boost of confidence and he opens his mouth again.

“I didn’t really know what I was doing at first. I didn't completely think about it until this… was happening. But I saw it coming, I guess. From that… one thing in the recording room. And maybe before now. And last night, too.”

His eyes, that have been going back and forth between Kevin's awkward hands to the floor, finally look for Kevin's face.

“And I think you meant it, too”. His heart beats so fast he's afraid he won't hear Kevin's answer.

But the man in front of him smiles and he catches every word clearly. “Yeah, I meant it too.”

“Good”, he says. God, Kevin  _ likes likes  _ him. He feels a sudden need of kissing him again, but he knows he has another thing to resolve.

But is Kevin the one who speaks first. “You told me  _ it,  _ last night.”

Avi's smile disappears.  _ Tell him what?  _ Another thing he doesn't remember?

“You told me, er. That you wanted to kiss me forever.”

Oh. He remembers now. And right now, out of Kevin's mouth, now that he's sober and has had a glass of water and his heartache is mostly gone, the line sounds so cheesy that he blushes and looks at his feet.

“Heck”, he murmurs, and Kevin giggles. He  _ giggles.  _ During  _ this conversation. _ Avi can't believe him.

“This is a serious matter!”, he says, offended, and that only causes Kevin to properly laugh. And Avi realizes he missed his laugh and that he doesn't really care about it that much.

Talk about being whipped.

“You’re just so… straight out of a rom-com”, Kevin manages to say and continues to laugh.

“Ryan Gosling has got nothing on me”, Avi has to add.

Kevin's laughter slowly ends and they stare at each other, and Avi can't stop smiling. Can't stop thinking about how much he wants to always make him smile, make him happy, hold him and touch him and kiss him. How much he loves him, how much he's in  _ love _ .

This is his chance. They can work it out, they  _ have  _ to. Avi feels like he's never wanted something more than  _ them. _

He’s one question away from having it.

“You said you wanted to kiss me forever, too”, hearing those words give him automatic butterflies. “You sap.”

“Yeah.”

“Er, this is the thing. I… want to do this. And I'm determined to make this work out. But I want  _ you  _ to want this too. I know I'm asking for a lot, and we both have things to lose if this goes wrong. But I… really, really like you. And I need you to understand what we're going to do from here, the pros and the cons, yeah? And tell me if you want to try this too.”

Kevin's eyes are unsure, maybe scared. Avi doesn't know if it's a good thing or not, but he feels relieved. Although not too eloquently, he got the words out, he put everything he had on the table. The decision is Kevin's. And he’s willing to keep being his friends if that's what he wanted, but God, he wants  _ this  _ so badly. He can only hope Kevin feels the same.

Suddenly, he feels Kevin's fingers on his wrist. He looks down to see their hands holding each other, Kevin's warm fingers intertwined in his, squeezing lightly, balancing them out. Avi looks at his face and the look Kevin is giving him, full of love and softness and reassurance, makes his knees feel like jello.

“I want this, too. You know how much I value and respect you, and I want you to know that I'm ready to take this step and yes, I will give everything of me to make this work. I promise you.”

_ And you told me I was straight out of a rom-com,  _ he thinks to himself as he lets out all of his affection for his friend take over his face and smile.  _ Well, not that straight anymore,  _ he answers on his head.

Already making gay jokes. Mitch and Scott would be proud of him.

“And uh, by the way”, Kevin says out of nowhere, looking conflicted, and for one second Avi is scared, because _ what?,  _ “I'm not actually sure if I'm a baritone. I just… think I am one, but it may be wrong, you know?”

Avi lets go of Kevin's hand, utterly confused. “What?”

“Well, I don't know if you remember? But I told you I was a baritone. Which is something I'm not very sure of. So, I don't wanna create any confusion…”

“Oh my God”, Avi says, slapping his knees because this is so  _ Kevin  _ and God, does he love him. “You're… something else. Oh God. Come here.”

And then he grabs Kevin by his top to gently pull him towards himself and finally, finally kisses him for real, with no excuses. And now that embarrassment and guilt is out of the table, it's definitely the best thing ever.

“So”, Kevin says breathless, once they part lips for a second, “this will be happening more.”

Avi opens his eyes to see his loving expression mirrored on Kevin's face. And he is more than up for this happening everytime, everywhere, but...

“Only… only if you want”, he whispers tentatively.

He already said yes, but Avi can't wait to hear it again. Kevin sees right through him, but he smiles, full of love, and Avi's heart twists on his chest.

“I already told you yes”, he says, and this time he's the one leaning in. “And I’ll tell you again and again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are more than welcome! Thanks for reading :)


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